5 Steps to Take When Your Job Doesn’t Align With Your Values
The workplace is a melting pot filled with diverse people, personalities, and belief systems. And as much as we’d all like to get along and agree all of the time, that’s just not the reality. Opinions clash, approaches vary, priorities shift, and rules change with the seasons, leaving us to navigate the growing tensions of maintaining healthy workplace relationships while holding onto our values.
But what happens when our values and our workplace’s simply don’t align? When, despite our best efforts, we can’t reach common ground. Or worse, when we’re pressured to compromise our values to conform to our workplace culture.
Navigating this friction requires discernment and courage. It means balancing professionalism and our personal ideas, and making thoughtful decisions about when to be flexible, how to communicate effectively, and when to draw a line in the sand.
So, if you’re experiencing a disconnect between your values and your workplace, here are five steps you can take to clarify what matters to you, advocate for yourself, and foster positive relationships, without sacrificing your core values.
Step 1: Identify Your Values
Before you can find true value alignment at work, you must first identify what your values are. This process calls for self-reflection and honesty, digging beneath the surface to uncover what really matters to you. I like to start this process by looking back on my previous work experiences and asking myself: What was missing?
Was it commensurate pay?
A supportive community?
Accountable leadership?
Work/life balance?
Opportunities for growth and development?
A sense of corporate responsibility and justice?
Sometimes the best way to understand what you care about is to notice patterns in your workplace frustrations. When work feels misaligned, your frustrations can become important clues to what you value most. Making a concrete list of what went wrong in your work journey can help you recognize what you need to flourish. These discoveries then become the non-negotiables that guide your decision-making, help you detect misalignment, and assess what changes might be necessary. Knowing your values provides direction and guidance when you encounter difficult choices or conflicts in the workplace. And ultimately, being clear about your values empowers you to create a work life that is not only productive but also meaningful and true to who you are.
If you need help getting started, check out Brené Brown's Dare to Lead resource to help you name your core values and begin living them out. If you have a mentor you meet with, you could also try using our Values Mentoring Guide to help spark discussion and explore what values matter most to you.
Step 2: Protect Your Values
Once you’ve clarified your values, it’s time to get serious about protecting them. I know first-hand what it’s like to succumb to people-pleasing, bending or hiding my beliefs at work to fit in, but in the end, that behavior compromised my integrity and authenticity. To begin aligning your values with those of your workplace, you have to be unapologetic about where you stand — understanding that, regardless of your beliefs, you deserve to be seen, heard, and respected. This doesn’t mean picking fights or being defensive; it means establishing healthy boundaries and advocating for yourself and your position.
As the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wisely said, "Fight for the things that you care about. But do it in a way that will lead others to join you." True advocacy for your values means inviting others to honor their own. In a diverse workplace, differing opinions are not only inevitable—they’re essential. When we respect and protect what matters to us, we also create space for others to do the same. It’s our collective beliefs and willingness to listen that make teams stronger, more resilient, and more innovative.
Step 3: Remain Open to New Perspectives
In his book, Many Colors: Cultural Intelligence for a Changing Church, Dr. Soong-Chan Rah invites readers to develop cultural intelligence by broadening their perspective and avoiding a narrow, individualistic lens. He highlights that because different cultures do not behave or respond in the same way, they should be held in dynamic tension to create new cultural paradigms through authentic partnerships across racial, ethnic, and cultural divides.
The same theory can be applied to our personal and workplace values. When we cling to a fixed viewpoint, we restrict our own growth and limit our ability to engage with empathy. However, recognizing that our beliefs are not universally “right” opens the door to richer learning. By intentionally listening to others’ perspectives and stories, we become loving and intelligent colleagues and leaders. This doesn’t mean abandoning our values — in fact, we might find that learning from others clarifies and strengthens them. But a willingness to learn from others paves the way for deeper communication, healthier relationships, and a genuine alignment of values at work.
Step 4: Sharpen Your Communication Skills
When you know your values, stand by them, and open yourself to hearing others' values, the next step is learning to communicate. In that regard, communicating your values becomes a delicate dance.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it”? This phrase becomes even more true in the workplace. The way you express your values can influence whether your message is received with openness or resistance. Therefore, it’s important to use respectful language, be mindful of your tone, and choose your timing thoughtfully.
Ephesians 4:29 states, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” This Scripture encourages us to communicate with the goal of collaboration rather than confrontation.
Sharpening your communication skills helps you champion your values without alienating others, increasing the likelihood that they will be heard and respected. In doing so, you also foster a supportive work environment where open dialogue and understanding can thrive.
Read Chelsea Logan’s book recommendation on Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High. This resource serves as an inspiring guide to help you have healthier conversations in challenging situations. Whether you’re learning to discern the point of a conversation, outline clear expectations, or achieve the delicate balance of navigating conversations with both candor and respect, Crucial Conversations encourages readers to communicate effectively and authentically.
Additionally, this article from Harvard offers practical steps to improve readers' communication skills at work. From word choice and preparation to mindfulness and strategy, this resource will help you maximize your communication skills to better relate to your colleagues, even when your values don’t align.
Step 5: Reshape Your Life
In her book, Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation, Ruth Haley Barton writes, “Living into what we want in any area of our life requires some sort of intentional approach.” Transformation does not happen by accident. If we want to see more synergy between our values and our workplaces, we have to work at it.
This can look like redesigning our lives around our core values and seeking out opportunities to honor what matters to us. For instance, if you value community, you might choose to prioritize regular gatherings with friends or family, or get involved in local volunteer work. Someone who values creativity could set aside time each day for artistic pursuits or seek out a job that allows for innovation. If health is a core value, you might redesign your daily schedule to include exercise, meal planning, or mindfulness practices. Making adjustments, big or small, can help you live out your values in concrete ways.
Still, if you find that the misalignment persists despite your efforts, it may be time to consider bigger changes. This could mean seeking a different team, a new role within your organization, or even a new workplace altogether. Honoring our values means prioritizing our well-being and choosing integrity and authenticity over conformity.
Navigating value misalignment at work is never easy, but it’s possible to uphold your beliefs while building positive relationships and advancing your career. By taking these steps, you can move forward with confidence, knowing that the journey to understanding your values can bring clarity and fulfillment and encourage others to do the same.
Originally published at depree.org
